How Can I Forgive You?: The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not to

Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. This title offers step-by-step, concrete instructions that help us make peace with others and with ourselves.

Until now, we have been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Spring, a gifted therapist proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our lives - without forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for genuine forgiveness - one that asks as much of the offender as it does of us. This title offers step-by-step, concrete instructions that help us make peace with others and with ourselves, while answering such crucial questions as these: How do I forgive someone who is unremorseful or dead? When is forgiveness cheap? What is wrong with refusing to forgive? How can the offender earn forgiveness? How do we forgive ourselves for hurting another human being?

Review:

A truly stellar book putting forgiveness in a new, revealing light and provides clear steps to turn wounds into wisdom. -- Joan Borysenko, Ph.D., author of Minding the Body, Mending the Mind