I Wanted to Grow Old with You: A Widow's First Year of Grief in Poetry

Ten months after being diagnosed with small cell lung cancer, and four months after being pronounced in remission, Rick Palmer died unexpectedly as the result of a freak accident. His wife, Katherine, turned to writing to cope with her grief. "I Wanted to Grow Old With You" is a collection of poems from her first year of mourning. From the initial prose stream-of-consciousness musings to the transition to conventional poetry, each poem conveys the poignancy and pain resulting from the loss of the man she loved. Losing a spouse is a unique circumstance that affects one's entire being, including disruption of daily habits and routines; loss of one's confidant, best friend, and sexual partner; coping with the pain of separation; and even the destruction of future plans, hopes, and dreams. These poems touch on many of these aspects of grieving, as well as grief triggers, and the different stages of grief. Each poem is evidence of the trials of becoming a widow or widower. Anyone who has lost a loved one will find themselves in this collection. The author explains the inspiration for many of the poems in an introduction to the works, from the first crude expressions of grief to the later metered verse.